Tuesday, January 15, 2013

a complaint list

Not the best day here.

The teething baby - first tooth on Sunday - is unhappy, for the last four or five days. My not-quite five year old, Gloria, is in a very fragile way, emotionally. She's difficult to understand when she's upset, she mumbles, and she's upset A LOT. She is also at odds with Trixie the not-quite seven year old, who can be very difficult to get along with.

Gilbert is at an impasse in math, trying to get multiplication, and I am impatient with him. As he gets less and less sure of his answers they get more and more tentative and I get more and more irritable. I stopped today before I got mad, but biting it back made me mad internally for an hour or so.

Abby is s-l-o-o-o-w at school today. She has been doing a twenty minute history assignment for about two hours. I have an appointment for an assessment for her soon. I am certain she will fit the diagnostic criteria for SCT. What will that mean for her and us? She's my daydreamer, my girl on her own planet. I want her to be able to play to her strengths and compensate for her deficits, and a clear course of action will help her with that.

I have to pack for the move, which is okay, but the baby won't let me. I'm a little out of sorts about that. My house is a mess and it's not getting cleaner.

Yesterday, I was on the phone with my friend Tabitha in California and I said "...my brother Jonathan was at my parents' house this weekend and..." and I realized I no longer need to specify which brother is doing something because now both of my other brothers died.

I fucking hate cancer.

I think that's all.